tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-191117682010-04-28T08:24:36.178-07:00or, "What's Jason doing?"Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-24745803764783173412010-04-28T08:24:00.003-07:002010-04-28T08:24:36.187-07:00<br /> This blog is now located at http://jasonharwell.blogspot.com/.<br /> You will be automatically redirected in 30 seconds, or you may click <a href='http://jasonharwell.blogspot.com/'>here</a>.<br /><br /> For feed subscribers, please update your feed subscriptions to<br /> http://jasonharwell.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default.<br /> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-2474580376478317341?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-73975956273690987922010-04-28T08:24:00.001-07:002010-04-28T08:24:34.517-07:00<br /> This blog is now located at http://jasonharwell.blogspot.com/.<br /> You will be automatically redirected in 30 seconds, or you may click <a href='http://jasonharwell.blogspot.com/'>here</a>.<br /><br /> For feed subscribers, please update your feed subscriptions to<br /> http://jasonharwell.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default.<br /> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-7397595627369098792?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-1258292617888467062010-04-20T10:28:00.001-07:002010-04-20T10:28:53.580-07:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><div style=""><a href='http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/iwC3s7LQI3urXMfEsVdv1Ib7Fz5seDE8Fo3nCHVXSIfnYJo5cNWoqe2LSTzh/mollywithpig.small.jpg.scaled.1000.jpg'><img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/fcxOPgYD9zl0mge0BDOSXRWbO8PbnI9HBHrOHoX2mE1k0tovdfkOki4KItwZ/mollywithpig.small.jpg.scaled.500.jpg" width="500" height="333"/></a> </div><p /><div style="">In large part, my last year or so has been about resetting my priorities, or perhaps more likely, correcting them. Through conscious effort, I have tried to keep my family above my work (read: "the things I do"), and this can be somewhat of a challenge considering I have more jobs than I have family members.&nbsp;In some ways, I have found it very hard to "reprogram" the way I live my life.</div><p /><div style=""><b>In all cases, I have found it the difficulties well worth the trouble.</b> This picture is a great example of why.</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/parenthood-31">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-125829261788846706?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-46651631459883365052010-04-18T19:31:00.001-07:002010-04-18T19:31:22.155-07:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><a href='http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/sGwHNKCmc1AykGFOnuLVG2LxEqBERUIhpgnpXKDYElcVh6jIcw5XC3Kr96zH/Harwell_Kid_Band2_-_April_2010.jpg'><img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/yNYIIbkkj5tCGx4DWZbGSWD4dvJ8wfvCH8WKgGd5mf0rzVyd9CDQzFAHEJL8/Harwell_Kid_Band2_-_April_2010.jpg.scaled.500.jpg" width="500" height="375"/></a> <p>I'm not a stage dad... I promise.</p> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/harwell-family-band-practice">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-4665163145988336505?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-35423070437991007632010-04-06T07:34:00.001-07:002010-04-06T07:34:21.719-07:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><div style="">Today, I'm in Clermont, FL doing some music and hanging out with&nbsp;<a href="http://www.thegoodfightsite.com">J.Rich</a>&nbsp;and&nbsp;<a href="http://www.myspace.com/thewellreds">Jeremy Ezell</a>. It's good times.</div><p /><div style="">But a couple of days ago we had Easter, and that's really what this post is about.</div><p /><div style="">Perhaps for the first year ever, I did not go to an Easter service with either my family or my wife's family; we actually went to our own church. And on this particular Sunday morning, our church welcomed Adam Lambert from Jewish Believers in Jesus to walk us through a passover seder and to illustrate how Jesus brought passover (deliverance, redemption, restoration, forgiveness) to it's absolute fulfillment.</div><p /><div style="">We took communion with unleavened bread, and as I did, I felt within my own heart a smallish voice say to me, "It is done! All is well! All is new!"</div><p /><div style="">And I thought of our friend Mike Sweeney.</div><p /><div style="">And I thought of my father in-law and my sweet mother in-law who would have celebrated their 40th anniversary this Easter morning.</div><p /><div style="">And I could not stop weeping because in that moment both the pain of loss and the triumph of the resurrection became very, very real to me.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">It is done.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">All is well.</div><p /><div style="">All is new.</div><p /><div style="">I cannot tell you how I cling to these words. And even as my heart is heavy, I rejoice that all has been made right again. In fact, it's probably because I feel the loss that I rejoice all the more.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">I'm getting older, and this is getting harder.&nbsp;But this...this is what Easter is all about:&nbsp;<span style="font-size: 12px;"><a href="http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mikesweeney/journal">http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mikesweeney/journal</a></span></div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/all-is-well-all-is-new">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-3542307043799100763?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-709271358115386422010-03-31T21:07:00.001-07:002010-03-31T21:07:23.496-07:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><div style="">Here's a summary of a really long blog post that I read but deleted for being too long:</div><p /><div style="">- I am made to make stuff.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">- I create because I am a creation in the image of a Creator, and my DNA compels me to imitate that creative process.</div><p /><div style="">- Though they are not all that different, I have always treated visual art and music very differently in terms of the creative process.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">- Visual art was about exploration and play and was process-driven; music was about performance and coolness and was product-driven.</div><p /><div style="">- This has been an obvious (but completely earth-shattering) revelation to me.</div><p /><div style="">- I have never considered with visual art that it's <i>wrong</i> when I don't know what I'm doing ahead of time. It's really just about making stuff. And while much of it hasn't been anything special; a few things (like my one-man seesaw; or, as I call it, the "Mee-Saw") were pretty decent. But the end result was not something I had a grip on at the outset.</div><p /><div style="">- Music making has been the opposite. I am paralyzed when I sit down to write or record. There are decisions to make, and they must be the right ones. I must adhere to some rules that may or may not really exist, at least to me. Rules about how things should sound or what-instrument-goes-where-in-a-song.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">- I used to play guitar in my room for hours, recording into the tiny mic input of a boombox while trying to figure out how to record the sound of my guitar amp being played through a box fan without recording all the fan noise, too. I failed at that, by the way. Now I tend to want to write some chords and verses and map the whole thing out before I even play a note.</div><p /><div style="">- That last sentence shows me how off I've been. Music is inherently mathematical, so yeah, there are some things any good musician needs to know. Things like what-chords-are-in-the-key-of-A. But...</div><p /><div style="">I'm just saying that the concept of exploration and play is in there, too. And that my DNA is telling me not to ignore it anymore.</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/to-sum-up">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-70927135811538642?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-90302004451990167402010-03-24T14:16:00.001-07:002010-03-24T14:16:29.125-07:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><div style="">Okay, so I'm not giving up completely. I guess I didn't do a very good job of being clever as a writer with&nbsp;<a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/im-giving-up">my last post</a>&nbsp;(or maybe it was way longer than the limits of attention span).</div><p /><div style="">Either way, allow me to clarify:</div><p /><div style="">I love music, and I will certainly continue to write and record it as long as I have the ability to do so.</div><p /><div style="">That post was really about a realization that more than a ways to make a living (or to <i>attempt</i> to make a living), music is a very essential part of my life. It helps me have some semblance of balance as a human. In short, if I don't make music, everything gets out of whack. I <i>need</i> to make music.</div><p /><div style="">Now since writing and recording (and occasionally performing) songs is something that keeps me sane, I have decided to give my time to it in the most healthy way I can. And for me this means I'm not shooting for a career at it, nor am I looking to make any real money from it. Somehow this feels great - I get to do what I love without the parts that really dragged me down.</div><p /><div style="">It also frees me up to see if there are ways in which the art I make (notice I said "art" and not "music") can <i>do</i> something. You know, raising money and awareness for people and organizations that are doing what Jesus did - healing the sick, caring for the marginalized folks around us, and generally looking to do for others instead of ourselves. Things that resonate closely to my own heart.</div><p /><div style="">More on all this as things come to pass. Of course, they may not come to pass. I guess you'll have to wait and see. Or not - that's what freedom is kind of about. Just know that though my musical output as been pretty nonexistent for a while, I have been writing and demoing new stuff for since February of last year. It's been slow, and it's kind of different, but I'm the most excited about my own music now than I've been since <i>Alive in the Fall</i>.</div><p /><div style="">I hope you'll stick around to see what comes of it, but hey, if not, thanks for stopping by.</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/um-about-giving-up">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-9030200445199016740?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-75996997375168520242010-03-17T07:28:00.001-07:002010-03-17T07:28:13.457-07:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><div style="">On a music career. You know, the one I never really had or wanted.</div><p /><div style="">Giving up isn't bad at all, really, if what we're giving up are the things that keep us from being truly alive.&nbsp;<a href="http://www.sethgodin.com">Seth Godin</a>&nbsp;wrote a book a while back called <i>The Dip</i> which at its core was about knowing when to quit doing the things that don't work to the sometimes radical changes that will help you to get out of "the dip." Now, he's writing mostly about business and marketing, but I think the sentiment is applicable in a broader sense, too.</div><p /><div style="">For me, this translates (naturally) into music. [<i>Just as an aside, I tend to take EVERYTHING to two places to make some sense of them: 1.) To sports. Nearly everything under the sun can be illustrated to some degree by a good sports analogy and 2.) To the world of music and the music business. So now you know.</i>] More to the point here, I spent a few years trying to do music the way you were "supposed" to, though I suppose my motivations were not so much in building a career for myself as a musician but rather an organization (a platform) with which I could help other musicians make careers for themselves.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">But before I could help anyone, I felt that I needed to see if I could actually do it myself, and so I did the things musicians are supposed to do. You know, trying to build a fanbase, touring all over the place, having a cool haircut, etc. And while I had a blast making albums (even the low-fi "Flavor" ones I did at home), I never felt like the things I was doing really fit, nor was my haircut awesome enough. My efforts always seemed more like a means to an end (the "end" being a vault of experience that I could use to help other folks who did have awesome music and haircuts), but ultimately I was never successful at that part because it wasn't really something for which I felt a true passion. I was trying to shoehorn my foot into an ill-fitting shoe, and in the end, all I got out of it was a funny walk.</div><p /><div style="">So here, months after I gave on trying to learn to walk in the wrong shoes, I am free to pursue and create music (and other things) with my heart. No more trying to build a fanbase. No more playing anywhere and everywhere just because I felt I had to have something to do (and to promote). No more personal branding. No more music business. No more "bigger and bigger" but more "smaller and smaller." Ah... it feels good.</div><p /><div style="">Now, a couple of things I need to say here at the end. One, I'm not trying to discourage you or anyone from pursuing a career in music if that's what you want to do. Seriously. Go do it. <i>Now</i>. And two, if you choose, you could probably look at my "career" and surmise that I'm writing this blog post in this way because I wasn't talented enough to "make it" anyway. Well, you may be right.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">But I also know now at the age of 31 that during the ten years that I tried to "do the music thing," I never once felt like I was doing something natural as a touring performing artist. Writing songs? Yes. Recording? Definitely. Building relationships through music? More please. But trying to "make it?" Nope. I mean, I ran a nonprofit for crying out loud.</div><p /><div style="">So your road may lead you to being the world's next big rock band. I will cheer you on, knowing that I was not made to do what you do. Also, please remember to thank your mom when you win your first Grammy. But I'm excited now that my own road is in a direction of dropping the baggage of what I'm "supposed" to do to make the music I've always wanted to make, to play with the ideas I've always had of how to set it free into the world, and to hopefully build deeper bonds of friendship and brotherhood with the community of other artists I am blessed to have in my life. The art - the music - gets to exist on its own without me having to constantly pimp it out to anyone within earshot or feeling the pressure of making it support me financially.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">I read this this morning from Oswald Chambers' <i>My Utmost For His Highest</i>:</div><p /><div style=""><span class="Apple-tab-span" style=""> </span>"Paul [<i>the apostle, not the Beatle - j.</i>] is like a musician who does not need the approval of the audience if he can catch the look of approval from his Master."</div><p /><div style="">I would say if I can do that, I will have been successful at my music. So here's to giving up on the things that never fit and giving my art (and myself) over to something better.</div><p /><div style="">More to come.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">I think.</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/im-giving-up">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-7599699737516852024?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-19725868959276033542010-02-23T19:05:00.001-08:002010-02-23T19:05:55.735-08:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><p><a href='http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/fHiejwjCCgepeIstyGbdytzggraaJrgrqDkkdxHwIoAAHzGAunptkxHrztAw/Photo_79.jpg.scaled1000.jpg'><img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/fHiejwjCCgepeIstyGbdytzggraaJrgrqDkkdxHwIoAAHzGAunptkxHrztAw/Photo_79.jpg.scaled500.jpg" width="500" height="375"/></a> </p> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://desktop.seesmic.com/">Seesmic</a></div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via web</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/12211380">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-1972586895927603354?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-5890860985164960112010-02-16T13:05:00.001-08:002010-02-16T13:05:08.464-08:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/0YdNjiIfOvQ2jDSrF2E0lhPkHGm1FqcilKxWqkhasdEuxKD38JmPnoIXgV9x/Photo_50.jpg" width="320" height="240"/> <img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/tqoU9rprW2999Kv7r8kstfRK6LiGeg4XAyHJocv1PNHTPSZu8CG8HVCBlEbD/Photo_66.jpg" width="320" height="240"/> <img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/vFr6qBCdZOE7l497mob4cHcEFjZJTTDe1cYXCvLxpp95uP0W5hVdYxbnN5p4/Photo_69.jpg" width="320" height="240"/> <img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/uJjSWG2j5BoJrSxqezvgu15NmiHpbCqqFmZ9GVYoIZ7PPmgGcj4nEmGigcEC/Photo_70.jpg" width="320" height="240"/> <div><a href='http://www.jasonharwell.com/while-im-at-work-this-is-what-happens'>See and download the full gallery on posterous</a></div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/while-im-at-work-this-is-what-happens">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-589086098516496011?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-49800813441662502422010-02-10T09:57:00.001-08:002010-02-10T09:57:38.341-08:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><object height="417" width="500"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5SaFTm2bcac&hl=en&fs=1" /></param><param name="wmode" value="window" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5SaFTm2bcac&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="417" wmode="window" width="500"></embed></object><p /> I haven't seen the whole documentary, but this 20 minute clip was fascinating all by itself. I've heard this sample ALL OVER THE PLACE (most notably in my memory as part of the Ocean's 11 soundtrack). <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/six-seconds-of-recorded-music-that-altered-hi">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-4980081344166250242?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-14718521245602688942010-02-04T13:47:00.001-08:002010-02-04T13:47:03.529-08:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><a href='http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/QtsfAM8QoqoH8xMcEEsyMsUjCPTcxofSFjjYPByJHqXTTpjwo0TcLMkx968X/cover.jpg.scaled.1000.jpg'><img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/KQAxoThEePp5jw1BQ3Hug0zfZnQTWSC0ORxm6JeZ0CRGtKlszWytoZXBjNFB/cover.jpg.scaled.500.jpg" width="500" height="500"/></a> <p /><div>This is some of my most recent design work (you know, as in one of my handful of part-time jobs) for <b>Sam Heilig's </b>debut EP, <i><b>Between Here &amp; Home</b></i> (produced and recorded by my good friend&nbsp;<a href="http://www.myspace.com/paulreevesmusic">Paul Reeves</a>). I'm really happy with how it turned out, and as always, my goal to try and make something that looks like the music sounds.&nbsp;</div><p /><div>So if you're wondering what Sam's music <i>looks</i> like, here it is. Of course, if you'd rather just know what it <i>sounds</i> like,&nbsp;<a href="http://www.samheilig.com">he's putting up a track a week</a>&nbsp;building up to his official release show here in Athens on <b>Wednesday, Feb. 24th at Tasty World (with John French and Emily Hearn also joining the bill)</b>. I tell you all that in case you see the album cover and want to know what it sounds like, leading you to surf on over to&nbsp;<a href="http://www.samheilig.com">his music page</a>, which in turn leads you to think, "Boy, I sure wish I could see Sam play these songs live."</div><p /><div>I'm just here to help.</div><p /><div>I appreciate Sam trusting me with his project - it was a blast!</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/sam-heiligs-album-cover-or-part-of-what-i-do">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-1471852124560268894?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-90388151074184573342010-02-02T20:54:00.001-08:002010-02-02T20:54:45.841-08:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><div style=""><a href='http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/f79dAHOQ1PoagcpFOlrtnch0I06zOSUls2FWN4Sj20UZsY0aHaZHUIcHGTsQ/birthday.vinyl.jpg'><img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/aOA36520lslxqBGsuUUp2rVVTasAEV9HmUooDfNvzET42XvGIy12Us5CEO0l/birthday.vinyl.jpg.scaled.500.jpg" width="500" height="375"/></a> </div><p /><div style="">Today I turned 31 years old.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">My birthdays growing up tended to feel like ordinary days, but that was because they <i>were</i> ordinary days generally. Unlike my friends with summer birthdays, my birthdays usually began with me standing out at the end of our driveway waiting for the bus to come pick my brother, sister, and I up for school. In my memory it was often raining, and it seems to me that the rain was generally colder on the second of February than the first or third. Then, upon arriving to school, I was inevitably greeted with jokes about seeing my shadow and stuff about groundhogs, a complex experience for me in that my birthday just happened to share the day we look to a specific variety of ground rodents to predict the weather, two things that to me seemed unrelated. But after Bill Murray made a movie about reliving the same day over and over again, and after calling that movie <i>Groundhog Day</i>, and after having a birthday on the actual Groundhog Day on which people said the exact same things to me over and over again made the two things seem <i>very </i>related.</div><p /><div style="">But it wasn't so bad really. My parents always made my birthdays special, and except for the year I was sick and nearly threw up on my cake notwithstanding (the fact that I threw up<i> right next</i> to it didn't seem to deter anyone from eating it, by the way), I've always enjoyed kind of ordinary-but-special birthday celebrations.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">But from start to finish, today was an absolutely perfect birthday and not at all ordinary.</div><p /><div style="">I awoke to find a smallish blue-eyed little girl patting me on the arm and frantically telling me "Happy Birthday," partly because she was excited and mostly because we were having breakfast in bed and she knew she couldn't eat a cinnamon roll until I was up. The whole family crowded in, and we gorged ourselves on the sweet, sweet sugary rolls until we dared not eat anymore, which is when that same smallish blue-eyed little girl felt the sugar kick in and proceeded to play tag with her mom and dad, which amounted to her running around the end of the bed from one side to the other, smacking each of us on our arms, and yelling, "Tag! You're it!" at the top of her lungs. Our baby boy watched it all, as he normally does, with a look equal parts horror, amusement, and confusion.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">After breakfast and showers, I was sent away from the house to do whatever I wanted to do for the day. Being for the moment in between graphic design projects and a day of the week I don't normally go to one of my other jobs, the world was my playground. And so I did what I tend to do on such rare occasions - I played guitar for a good long while. It was great fun spending the afternoon in our band's practice space, making racket and getting our makeshift studio ready to record an album this month.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">Right as I was finishing up the studio bit, my great friend Paul Reeves called, and we met up at Walker's to hang out for a bit before I was to return home at 6pm, under strict orders from my lovely wife. Upon arriving home, I opened the door to the aroma of beef stew and a well-dressed group of Harwells (including my five-month-old son in a Bart Scarborough-approved Polo onesie that someone gave him). I opened some sweet cards from special people and two wonderful gifts - copies of Iron &amp; Wine's <i>Shepherd's Dog</i> and Nada Surf's <i>Let Go</i> on vinyl. Ummm... vinyl.</div><p /><div style="">Then the doorbell rang, and for the next half hour or so, our tiny house filled up with nearly every one of my favorite friends here in Athens, some of whom came even though they felt a little under the weather. I was truly surprised and very much overwhelmed, kind of like Jimmy Stewart at the end of <i>It's A Wonderful Life</i>. Our house was very loud for a while as we ate cake and drank coffee and told ridiculous stories and tried to be funny, and it reaffirmed a thought I've been living with for a little while about how someone's <i>presence</i> is much better than their <i>presents</i> (though presents are nice, too).</div><p /><div style="">I've made it through 31 years, but I don't really know how many I've got left. My mom is certainly trying to help me live longer (she got me a pedometer, some vitamins, and a bottle of fish oil pills for my birthday), but despite her best efforts, the length of my days is anyone's guess. We have some friends who have been dealing with the realness of our own mortality for years now as one has fought cancer twice and is in now in a place where the doctors are running out of options. They literally (and valiantly, I might add) are having to focus on the day while it is today for tomorrow can be something very hard to think about. Mike is an amazing man, and we are praying for a miracle.</div><p /><div style="">So when I look around my tiny living room and see people who have shared their lives with me and helped to mold my own, I am unable to deal with the thankfulness I feel for each of them. I keep thinking <i>this day matters to me. These people matter to me.</i> I used to run a record label and do things that people might find interesting, but I do them no longer. And despite the "ordinariness" of the life I am forging in my thirties, I am fortunate to have people who want to show up unannounced and crowd my house and eat my birthday cake. They didn't have to be here, but they were here just the same.</div><p /><div style="">I sure am looking forward to dropping the needle on these shiny new pieces of vinyl tomorrow at my office, but the best birthday gifts I got were the thoughtful calls, emails, texts, and tweets from people I don't get to see nearly enough, and visits from people I am thankful to see daily.</div><p /><div style="">And the pedometer, Mom. Can't forget the pedometer. I took nearly 6000 steps yesterday...</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/birthday-presentspresence">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-9038815107418457334?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-31981122805187792902010-01-22T08:03:00.001-08:002010-01-22T08:03:56.851-08:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><div style="">I have always really loved his show, and I think it's terrible that he's gotten the wrong end of the stick when it comes to the <i>Tonight Show</i>. But rather than take the lumps (and the buyout) over to a different network in the fall, he turned his last week of the <i>Tonight Show</i> into a "stick it to NBC as hard as humanly possible" show.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">I certainly don't know how it would feel to be in his position, to have your dream job stripped from you after only a few months, and I imagine his anger is justifiable (especially when he's lost the rights to so many of his character creations). But he lost my sympathy with the way he's making his exit.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">I should also say that I'm sure he doesn't need my sympathy.</div><p /><div style="">Watching him blow $1.5 million just to jab at NBC doesn't change my feelings of hope that Conan will find success with whatever network he lands on in the fall, but it&nbsp;shows me that he's just as willing to hit below the belt as the network did.&nbsp;</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/conan-lost-me">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-3198112280518779290?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-51593397108435383522010-01-11T07:45:00.001-08:002010-01-11T07:45:52.888-08:00<div class='posterous_autopost'><div style="">While brushing my teeth before bed a couple of nights ago, I had these thoughts about my life in this new decade:</div><p /><div style="">During the next ten years...</div><div style="">... I will likely finish having children</div><div style="">... I will be in the prime of my health</div><div style="">... I will reach middle age</div><div style="">... I will have a new career</div><div style="">... I will still not be able to grow anything resembling facial hair</div><div style="">... I will need to make the bulk of my life's money (yikes!??)</div><div style="">... My life will probably not make much money (double yikes!)</div><div style="">... I will still want to drive an old Jeep</div><div style="">... I will probably drive a 2002 yellow Mazda</div><div style="">... The Warm Fuzzies will likely reach the finish line</div><div style="">... We will still probably have copies of bubblegum-scented CDs in boxes in our house</div><div style="">... I will still bang out songs on whatever's laying around</div><div style="">... I will meet new friends and build new relationships</div><div style="">... I will lose touch with people I care about</div><div style="">... I will probably move to a different home</div><div style="">... my children will experience those golden years of childhood</div><div style="">... People I love dearly will die</div><div style="">... I'll be ten years closer to my own death</div><div style="">... We'll all lose something dear to us.</div><div style="">... There is no guarantee I'll even survive it</div><p /><div style="">I feel cursed sometimes by the fact that I rarely think about the good without the bad. I guess the opposite true as well (and is a bit more optimistic). My enthusiasm is always tempered by caution, and my caution is always warmed by the hope I have that things will turn out okay. Is the glass half-empty or half-full? All I see is "both."</div><p /><div style="">But I do know I will need Jesus to be more real to me in these next ten years than in the three decades preceeding. And though I imagine I will see 2020 (no pun intended) having hurt more than ever, I also believe I will have hoped, loved, and laughed more than enough to tip the scale toward that glass being a little more filled.</div><p /><div style="">To arrive at 2020 without some tragedies is impossible, but if and when I reach it, I hope to simply be ten years better.</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/the-heaviest-decade">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> </div> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-5159339710843538352?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-91936666266411670442010-01-08T05:48:00.001-08:002010-01-08T05:48:41.436-08:00<object height="417" width="500"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/se0h5MNyldU&hl=en&fs=1" /></param><param name="wmode" value="window" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/se0h5MNyldU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="417" wmode="window" width="500"></embed></object> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/molly-the-artist-in-her-natural-habitat">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-9193666626641167044?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-34793739640774627162010-01-06T06:01:00.001-08:002010-01-06T06:01:37.981-08:00<a href='http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/1duun0QZjV8wpfhJJoZ4JUHHSJBQuodlTSV8T0kI1lCgOPM0a81OUuRexbcK/IMG_0254.jpg.scaled.1000.jpg'><img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/UMjDftwYPN7K96kBk1MDr3ZLvndfGuLwiRtj9PGdOIFL8484rB9N64qBHozI/IMG_0254.jpg.scaled.500.jpg" width="500" height="375"/></a> <p /><div>A couple of days ago I sold my beloved Fender Twin to a gentleman in one of my very favorite Athens bands,&nbsp;<a href="http://www.squidrock.com">Doctor Squid</a>. (I should also mention that my 3 year old considers them her favorite band, which means I've listened to their record nearly every day since February of last year... and it still holds up).</div><p /><div>It needed to be done: since I bought my dream amp in late '08 (my equally beloved Mesa/Boogie Mark III), the tried-and-true Twin hadn't seen much use. And it really deserves to be played. Plus, I needed the money to put towards what I hope is some kind of future in recording things, and let's face it, money ain't exactly just laying around everywhere these days.</div><p /><div>So allow me a brief (yet absurd) moment to tell a piece of electronic equipment thanks for all the years of rocking and rolling.</div><p /><div>I bought the amp off eBay when I was a senior in college (waaaaaay back in '00-'01). Having lived through the suicide of my second Peavey combo, I scrounged some money and bought something with tubes. Something that weighed nearly 80 lbs. Seriously, that thing is heavy... I really needed one of those contractor harness things or at least a weightlifter's belt to avoid a hernia.&nbsp;</div><p /><div>The Twin served me well through my college band (the barely-remembered Waleska, GA Christian folk/rock five-piece Copper John) and on to California and back when we started Rebuilt Records. Every&nbsp;<a href="http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/harwellpresents1">Flavor of the Week</a>&nbsp;track featuring guitar was recorded with that amp, though it rarely left the house during my&nbsp;<a href="http://jasonharwell.bandcamp.com/album/alive-in-the-fall">Alive in the Fall</a>&nbsp;years.&nbsp;</div><p /><div>But when&nbsp;<a href="http://www.thewarmfuzzies.com">the Warm Fuzzies</a>&nbsp;came calling, the Twin was first to volunteer, and&nbsp;<a href="http://thewarmfuzzies.bandcamp.com/album/the-bubblegum-ep">the Bubblegum EP</a>&nbsp;is the sound of a whole 'lot of it (as well as Davey's Pro Junior).&nbsp;</div><p /><div>I really like building history with the things I "own." I use quotations there because I don't really "own" anything for perpetuity; at some point things will pass on to someone else. I'm really coming to enjoy that. When I play my most beloved instrument, the Buddy Holly reissue Gibson J-45 my lovely wife gave me when we got married for my children as they sleep or dance around the house, I imagine that one day it will fall to them. I hope they're nicer to my instruments than I was to my father's...</div><p /><div>Now, I know artifacts don't have souls, but just like the Velveteen Rabbit who became more real with every bump, scrape, and tear, I like to imagine that my hands are somehow shaping these instruments into a story worth passing on to my kids (and their kids and their kids).</div><p /><div>Besides, money ain't just layin' around these days, and a few guitars may be all I've got to give them (so those stories better be <i>good</i>).</div><p /><div>Farewell, Fender Twin - thanks for a decade of awesomeness.</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/goodbye-fender-twin-amp-youll-forever-rock-in">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-3479373964077462716?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-23833923314736488322010-01-05T06:39:00.001-08:002010-01-05T06:39:24.710-08:00<div style=""><i>"So the songs are about time, and they're about getting on with it. Whether you like it, or think you could improve with it, you've just got to get on with it, because there's another one you've got to do. So it's just about moving forward instead of spending so much time laboring over things that may mean a great deal to me but mean nothing to anyone else. So this year has been about not getting caught up with that, and just moving on." - </i>Matt Sharp of the Rentals</div><p /><div style="">This quote is from a recent interview (<a href="http://rumbum.com/651-it-39-s-about-time">http://rumbum.com/651-it-39-s-about-time</a>, if you're interested) in which Sharp discusses the completion of the Rentals' "Songs About Time" project, one of the most expansive and riveting artistic challenges I've ever seen. For all of 2009, Sharp shot a roll of 35mm film and posted one picture a day online. Each week the band produced a short film and a musical score to accompany the film, and every four months, the band released an EP. I can't believe they pulled it off.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">One of my lasting memories from 2009 will undoubtedly be eating my lunch at my office desk and watching that weeks short film. I'll certainly miss that.</div><p /><div style="">I love this quote; it resonates deeply with the part of me that makes my own music/art/whatever. 2009 was about a lot of moving on for me, which is probably why a project called "Songs About Time" captured my attention for 52 weeks. Last February, I attempted to record an album as part of the RPM Challenge (<a href="http://www.rpmchallenge.com">http://www.rpmchallenge.com</a>)... I failed miserably. But I loved the pace; I loved that I was forced to come up with something without the benefit of thinking about how "good" it was. The challenge was to ignore the "critic" part of my mind... that annoying part that watches what I do and then pops up on my shoulder to tell me how awful it is. And while I really only finished one song, I recorded music to 10 or so, and in the months since, I've been listening to some of that music in my car in an attempt to find some vocal melodies and see what these songs are about. And when I do finish them, I don't think I'll do much editing to the tracks. I like that they are as they are, a document of sorts, of February 2009 (and whenever I record vocals, I guess).&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">One of my favorite Tom Petty songs has the line, "Time to move on/ Time to get goin'/ What lies ahead I have no way of knowin'/ But under my feet, baby, grass is growin'/ It's time to move on, time to get goin'"</div><p /><div style="">&nbsp;Life seems to be more and more about the process. I like this.&nbsp;Here's to moving forward this year.</div><p /><div style="">For more about the "Songs About Time" project, visit the whole thing (even all 52 films!) online here at&nbsp;<a href="http://www.therentals.com">http://www.therentals.com</a>.</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/songs-about-time-etc">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-2383392331473648832?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-30309884828349437652009-12-25T06:28:00.001-08:002009-12-25T06:28:57.845-08:00<a href='http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/YxBLt5HtgTcCrlOfZLOtk5Iuel9NQ4U7daRo7A4MSVFcPrbg373bxfd7pN1S/MollyandSam.xmas09.low.jpg'><img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/15tcM8sAu8usRujLUkVdyNghqv1SnXPr58ZNZFRLsVKcPqGHuV3D3PiaFXHG/MollyandSam.xmas09.low.jpg.scaled.500.jpg" width="500" height="333"/></a> <p>... from the cutest kids in America. <p /> I sincerely hope that you're finding love, peace, and hope this Christmas season! <p /> Unto us a child is born (or as my daughter's children's bible says, "Our rescuer has come for us!") <p /> See you next year.</p> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/merry-christmas-1146">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-3030988482834943765?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-78211967988047356742009-12-18T09:55:00.001-08:002009-12-18T09:55:49.202-08:00<a href='http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/12AWCMOGZg9BttXp6CAZgeJDJlLDk6IH6dteyyPcGkW27J0piqzRXOQfPhQC/photo.jpg'><img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/9Gwmtw3xFl6TjqL25J9MkLDxhYqGlNuUl55FtaJOc5iFwTP8nmAeS7tGBK0E/photo.jpg.scaled.500.jpg" width="500" height="667"/></a> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/a-little-mobile-recording-this-morning">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-7821196798804735674?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-90994842608702924292009-12-06T12:43:00.001-08:002009-12-06T12:43:07.977-08:00<div style="">If you're close enough to me (in a relational sense) that a gift for me is on your list of things to buy, allow me to ease your holiday stress a bit. Here is a list of things NOT on my Christmas list this year:</div> <p /> <div style="">* No gigantic red bow</div> <div style="">* No luxury automobile to hold up the aforementioned red bow</div> <div style="">* Nothing from Kay Jewelers (and DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER "Going to Jared")</div> <div style="">* Nothing that has the letters "H" and "D" on it</div> <p /> <div style="">That's the list. But wait, there's more! If you find yourself with something of a dilemma, wondering if the item you're looking to get for me is something I'm really going to like, I want you to do this:</div> <p /> <div style="">Don't buy it.</div> <p /> <div style="">Nope. What I'd really like for Christmas this year is for you to share your lives with me.&nbsp;</div> <p /> <div style=""><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Here's how it works:</span></div> <p /> <div style="">1. If you don't know what to get me, get me something YOU like. Your favorite album. Or movie. Or book. Maybe not your favorite blouse or A-line skirt, but you know, something that means something TO YOU.&nbsp;</div> <p /> <div style="">2. Or better yet, make me something. A mix CD of songs you love. Write me something. Cook for me your favorite dish... I promise I will eat it. Forget the price of things; free is good, too.</div> <p /> <div style="">3. Go green by recycling something you don't use anymore. Do you have any old tools? I could probably use them. Or instruments or firewood or whatever. (<em>Maybe not actual recycling, though; I've got enough cardboard and milk cartons to last a while</em>).</div> <p /> <div style="">4. Or maybe beat the recession by giving me the gift of your time. Let's get lunch; we'll go Dutch. Or coffee. Or let's just get water. Or we'll throw the football (I haven't gotten to do that in years). Maybe we could catch a movie (we could rent one, or go to the theater, or watch whatever Meredith Baxter movie is on Lifetime). Do you play music? Let's do that. We'll record it and laugh about how awful it sounds. Board games are awesome ways to hang out or heck, we could just go for a walk. See where I'm going with this?</div> <p /> <p /> <div style="">Now, I'm not trying to be a Scrooge and discourage you from buying me (or anyone) something if you'd like to do that. We always say that it's better to give than to receive, and I am certainly not about to tell you how to give. But I want you, Person I Care About Deeply, to know that more than anything else, I would like to get to know you a bit better. To receive the gift of a glimpse into your life. To know what's important to you, because you're important to me.&nbsp;</div> <p /> <div style="">It might actually be harder to do that than to just buy me a gift card, and you may be more comfortable with the gift card. Do that then; I mean, for crying out loud, we've made this season so stressful. I'm simply (and honestly and deeply) offering you the freedom to give as you see fit. And maybe I'm challenging you a bit, too. As I <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/may-it-be-to-me-as-you-say" target="_blank">said in my last post</a>, I'm kind of waging this internal war against the debt-inducing holiday madness, and I've seen that the best things in my life don't need batteries or extended warranties.</div> <p /> <div style="">So this year, please don't spend hours trying to think of what to get me; just sharing your life with me is worth more than all those blasted luxury car commercials.</div> <p /> <div style="">******</div> <div style=""><em>SIDENOTE: I just re-read this post, and I'll admit, it sounds kind of silly. Sappy, even. But so be it; I'm dead serious.</em></div> <p /> <div style=""><em>And there ain't nothing sappier than those ridiculous Kay ads.</em></div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/what-i-dont-want-for-christmas-and-what-i-rea">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-9099484260870292429?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-34761061216195406862009-12-03T07:01:00.001-08:002009-12-03T07:01:14.034-08:00<img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/jyoS8j4nGihzFTM4tqW9LvC8ZBX4ATvbTRia1QIbEGcwUu9Y9xCEi6PDx2vS/mary.jpg" width="470" height="630"/> <p /><div><p /><p /><div style="">More than any other year in my memory, this year my entire insides are fighting to put aside all the Black Friday nonsense and arrive at a deeper level of joy and understanding of the birth of Jesus (It's like 1080p, only better because it's real and doesn't become obsolete five seconds out of the box).&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">Not to say that buying people things isn't a good thing to do, just that we've turned it into something kind of ridiculous, you know?</div><p /><div style="">At any rate, I want to know the real Jesus, and I want him to change my heart. I don't want to put my faith in the hands of anything (or anyone) else than the actual son of God. I'm not looking for a guru, or a spiritual advisor, or someone to teach me about being a good leader nor am I satisfied with the pasty-white outer glow of all the things people say that he is. I want the real guy or I want nothing at all.</div><p /><div style="">Faith is a hard thing to have and a much harder thing to keep. And I'm more and more convinced that it's not about having some bulletproof attitude that weathers all attacks from all the "heathens" and "pagans," but is more about perseverance, humility, and dedication. There's a story in the Bible where Jacob wrestles an angel... and bests him (<i>sidenote: I can't read that passage anymore without hearing Bono singing "Bullet the Blue Sky" in my head</i>). Now, I've not gone toe-to-toe with any angels, but I wrestle with all kinds of doubts. You can't live an authentic life of faith without some doubts, especially when you live in a culture such as ours where believing in anything supernatural is increasingly seen as small-minded and asinine. But Jacob wrestled with the supernatural, too, so maybe I've got a shot.</div><p /><div style="">All this to say that I'm trying very hard to see the truth with my own eyes. I know the Christmas story by heart because it's been everywhere since I was a kid. But do I really know the story as it is written? And does the story of Jesus' birth hold more for me than what I've known about it my whole life?</div><p /><div style="">I think so, but I guess we'll see.</div><p /><div style="">I will say that in reading through the first chapter of Luke this morning, I was struck by Mary's response to the angel Gabriel when he tells her that she's going to give birth to the Son of God:</div><p /><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Times;">&nbsp;<span style="font: 10.0px Times;">³⁴</span>"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"</p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Times;">&nbsp;<span style="font: 10.0px Times;">³⁵</span>The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called<span style="font: 10.0px Times;">^[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke%201&amp;version=NIV#fen-NIV-24921c"><span style="text-decoration: underline ; color: #001fe8;">c</span></a>^]</span> the Son of God. <span style="font: 10.0px Times;">³⁶</span>Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. <span style="font: 10.0px Times;">³⁷</span>For nothing is impossible with God."</p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Times;">&nbsp;<span style="font: 10.0px Times;">³⁸</span>"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.</p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Times;">(Luke 1:34-8 NIV)</p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Times;"><br /></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Times;"><br /></p><div style="">It's the last part I'm taken by right now. "I am the Lord's servant... may it be to me as you have said." If an angel showed up and told me I was going to do something like give birth to a holy child, I would be terrified (and not just because I'm a man). That's a pretty huge responsibility to drop on someone. I would be filled with all kinds of worry, anxiety, and doubt. What if I messed it up? What does this mean for my future? What the heck is going on?</div><p /><div style="">And I don't know how Mary felt. But I know that her response is to accept it all - all the potential shame she'd face from being an unwed mother, all the worry about her future, all of it - and chose to simply trust that whatever God would have happen to her is the best possible thing for her.</div><p /><div style="">This is not touchy-feely, live-your-best-life-now faith; this is your-life-is-forever-altered-and-it's-going-to-be-incredibly-hard faith. A you-could-die-for-this faith. This is good for me to hear. Sure, I have ideas and plans and things I'd like to do and things I wish I could do and all those kinds of thoughts, but more than that, I want to be like Mary, telling God that if he'd prefer me to be a guy with a bunch of part time jobs and a hard drive full of music fragments that may never be heard by many people, I will accept it. I don't mean to say that I shouldn't want to dream big things, only that I accept that my primary goal in my life is to know this real Jesus, to love others as he loved, and to let all else remain lower than those two on my list of priorities. God is weird; he doesn't make sense in a lot of ways. But maybe the most important thing I'll do in my life will happen at a copy shop where I do typesetting part time, all because I was willing to be where he wanted me to be.</div><p /><div style="">Now, I hope to find a job that I really love. I hope to put out music that means something to someone. And I'd really like to have an old Jeep one day. Maybe I will. But let it be for me as you say, Lord. As you say.</div><p /><p /><p /></div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/may-it-be-to-me-as-you-say">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-3476106121619540686?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-53013264331691696882009-11-25T20:08:00.001-08:002009-11-25T20:08:17.537-08:00Slowly and surely, I am finding that if given the time to simmer, I may just have some songs left to write. And in the past, I think the best ones have been the ones that haunted me, &nbsp;the ones that ran on loop in my head throughout the day, when I tried to go to bed at night, and at just about every point in between. I've got a small handful of new songs on a mental playlist currently pummeling my brain nonstop, and I hope that means they're worth hearing.<p /><div>Now, having these songs bouncing around in my head&nbsp;<i>can</i>&nbsp;be a bit maddening in the context of how I write music. It's a pretty rare feat for me to sit down and knock out a song in a few hours; instead, I've come to accept and embrace that for me writing is an evolutionary process. Lacking a real base of musical theory, I tend to approach the process by playing with sounds and letting my mind run to wherever it goes. This means that I may come across a chorus melody that will bounce around in my head for days, weeks, months, or in some cases, years before I can find where it goes. It's like planting seeds and having to keep watering and waiting until the dang thing flowers. But it also means that I might have a chorus that runs on repeat over and over and over and over and over and over (you get the idea). If someone asks, "When are you putting out something new," I always feel like a loser when I answer, "I'm not sure... hopefully soon," but the answer is honest. It's done when it's done.&nbsp;</div><p /><div>And yes, it does require discipline and effort, but for me the effort and discipline is comes in the form of setting aside time specifically to explore and experiment. But I still have no idea how long it will take.</div><p /><div>Still, it's just nice to feel creative again. As I'm moving forward, helping my musical children to grow up, I'm also moving further and further away from what I've done in the past. I would really like to have something to share with people, and if you're reading this, you're probably among those who I want to share my music with most. Thanks for sticking around; you're incredibly patient.</div><p /><div>The old aspirations are dying out in my heart, and that's good. On the other side of all the things one is "supposed" to do is a much larger world full of all the things one can do with music.&nbsp;</div><p /><div>For now it's nice to have music haunting me again. Maybe there's still a few bats left in the belfry after all.</div><p /><div><div>In due time, in due time.&nbsp;</div><p /></div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/being-haunted-in-a-good-way">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-5301326433169169688?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-83303646022373064642009-11-24T09:25:00.001-08:002009-11-24T09:25:26.870-08:00<blockquote type="cite"><p /><div><p /><a href='http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/3IKwNXSURDCBRAQAUTroPTJfN44CICWcsDN3kLekTx2IWRB4E8LFYOZzEuI0/photo.jpg'><img src="http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/jasonharwell/tmjjr9yZEfX4UCx1G312cPZxRiiMafgVuHYTpzUJTrcsGJWMJsdyUbkQitIH/photo.jpg.scaled.500.jpg" width="500" height="375"/></a> <p /><div style=""><i>(photo: Parks, John, and yours truly on my couch last night)</i></div><p /><p /><div style="">I'm really thankful to have Parks Carpenter and John Dunn in my life. Parks isn't in my life physically as much as I'd like (living in Wilmington, NC), but I'm ecstatic that John and his wife Tara once again call the Classic City home. Both of these guys are brothers to me.</div><p /><div style="">In my undergrad years at Reinhardt College (apparently about to be renamed "Reinhardt University"), I played in a band called Copper John. There were five of us - me, Parks, John, David (from my last post), and Jacob (who'll likely be my next "thankful for" subject) - and while we didn't do much worth writing home about during our tenure as a band, we did do a fair amount of hanging out at Parks' cabin in Jasper, GA. And when I say "cabin" I mean it in the Pioneer sense, as in "no heat or air conditioning." It was awesome. Parks grew up in Papua New Guineau, so his decor was wild.</div><p /><div style="">John was my roommate my senior year at Reinhardt. He also owned me at racquetball (seriously, I don't know if I ever beat him, and we played ALOT). John is, without a doubt, one of the most unique people I have ever met. There is no one like John Dunn. NO ONE. If you've ever heard my old "Flavor of the Week" song, "Tae kwon John," you have heard of John Dunn.</div><p /><div style="">I can be guilty of being a little too intense, to focused on the difficulties in front of me or on the uncertainties of tomorrow; Parks taught me how to lighten up, how to be naked (in a metaphorical sense, and well, at times, a literal sense). I owe a lot to him.</div><p /><div style="">And John taught me a lot about being comfortable in my own skin. I'm not sure whether John thought of himself as I did, but he always seemed to carry himself with a quiet confidence. He also didn't seem to get bogged down by what others thought of him <i>(on a side note, John once wore the same shirt for an entire summer just to see if he could do it. He did. I find this endlessly impressive)</i>. A deep, creative thinker, and a really good friend to a lot of people. He is also still learning to break dance.</div><p /><div style="">Both of these guys have encouraged me through some of my rougher times, offering wisdom when I needed it and on some occasions, some tough love. Parks also threw John's <i>Hangin' Tough</i> CD out of the window of his Jetta, which was then crushed by a speeding semi. This ALWAYS gets brought up.</div><p /><div style="">My life is better because of these two men. Who are you thankful for?</div><p /></div></blockquote> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/people-im-thankful-for-112409-parks-carpenter">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-8330364602237306464?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19111768.post-6836136707080991082009-11-18T19:33:00.001-08:002009-11-18T19:33:27.257-08:00<div style="">Being the season for giving thanks (historical accounts notwithstanding), I wanted to use this blog to simply give thanks for those folks who have made my life what it is (and hopefully, by doing so, combat the hardness of my own heart).</div><p /><div style="">Today, I'm giving thanks for my friend David Herndon. I actually meant to do this on his birthday a couple of weeks back, but you know how life is....</div><p /><div style="">I can say without exaggeration that David played a huge part in saving my life. He and I met as freshmen at Reinhardt College in 1997, and I can't quite remember how we came to hang out so much, but by the end of Fall quarter, we were making plans to start a band (though "duo" is a more accurate description). It was a great time for me.</div><p /><div style="">But more than hanging out and playing guitar in our dorm rooms, I was drawn to David by his own passionate pursuit of Jesus. And not the stuffy, meek and mild Sunday School Jesus with little lambs and small children - the real, still-doing-stuff Jesus who was much bigger than all my old childhood lessons. Having grown up in church, I knew all those stories, but somehow I had still come to think of God as some sort of spiteful judge waiting to smite me when I screwed up. He seemed to like smiting for some reason.</div><p /><div style="">I don't think that came from my experiences at church growing up, but until college, I had never really considered that Jesus could be someone other than a guilt trip trying to kill my buzz.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">At least until I met David.</div><p /><div style="">In David I saw someone who was searching for the truth of who Jesus was, beyond all the stories, all the anecdotes, all the information and misinformation. Though firm in his convictions, he was not trying to push a theology or dogma or anything like that on anyone. He was simply trying to figure out as best he could what his life would look like if he knew more and more deeply the real Jesus.</div><p /><div style="">And somewhere deep in my own core, I wanted the same thing. High school was an especially weird time for me, and I felt angry for most it. I'm still not sure what about. But it made things hard at home, and when you factor in my own air of knowing it all - as 17 and 18 year olds can be prone to developing - I was a rain cloud always hovering around somewhere. I wasn't content - not with myself or my life.</div><p /><div style="">Because of David's search for Jesus, I too began looking for him. I began to ask some real questions, things like, "Do I believe all this stuff because I've been brainwashed as a child, or is this for real?" Questions I think we all need to ask of ourselves.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">And as I sought answers to these questions,I began to let go of the ideas I had set forth for my life - what it would look like, all the things I wanted to have, etc. And in large part because of those experiences, I started a record label hoping to help artists make some sort of positive impact on our culture. Ultimately, I gave my life over to this man, this conundrum, this Jesus, who I had begun to see and know in my own life.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">After our first summer of college, I followed David down to work at Epworth By The Sea on St. Simons Island as a camp counselor, partly because it seemed fun, but mostly because hanging out with David all summer sounded better to me than going back to Eatonton and doing, um, <i>something,</i> I guess.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">And that's the summer I met the lovely Jana Dalelio, who I would marry four years later. Who would then bear my two children. You get the drift.</div><p /><div style="">David has been my among my greatest cheerleaders, offering me the kind of unconditional support and encouragement that I needed during the Rebuilt years. He is much smarter than me, which helps, and I have never hung out with him and not been challenged in some way to deepen my own faith. His songwriting is probably my greatest musical influence, and his last Rebuilt record, <i>Into Danger/Out of Rescue</i>, is to me a masterpiece. He has never tried to use his gifts to make himself famous or rich or whatever but has always been an example to me of someone who sought to become the greatest he could be by trying to serve others.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">I know this is kind of a gushy, rambling discourse, but David Herndon is someone whose fingerprints are indelibly pressed upon my life. And he wasn't <i>trying</i> to do all these things through our friendship - he was simply trying his best to see the truth of who Jesus said he is, and by doing so, the very direction of my life was changed forever.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">I don't get to see David nearly enough anymore, but those years we spent traveling around south Georgia in his Civic hatchback are like gold to me.&nbsp;</div><p /><div style="">I am thankful for David Herndon. Who are you thankful for?</div> <p style="font-size: 10px;"> <a href="http://posterous.com">Posted via email</a> from <a href="http://www.jasonharwell.com/people-im-thankful-for-vol-1-david-herndon">JasonHarwell.com</a> </p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19111768-683613670708099108?l=www.rebuiltstore.com%2Fblog%2Fblog.html' alt='' /></div>Jason Harwellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07143156777337551311noreply@blogger.com0